Ronin's post about mileage -- enough mileage, not enough mileage -- made me think that he tries to let dancers know what kind of lap he likes. Whether that's true or not, it brings to mind a question: Do you coach your dances on their laps?
I'm curious, because I don't, unless the girl is doing something really uncomfortable. Typically, I let the girl do what she wants. I figure it's part of the audition. Like a test. More to the point, I don't want to pull the girl out of her comfort zone. That's usually a loser. Trying to turn a bouncy dancer into a sensual dancer tends not to work. If she felt good about being sensual, that's the way she'd be. If she doesn't, she just becomes a lousy sensual dancer.
Sometimes, a dancer is able to figure me out without coaching. Obviously, extra points for that kind of effort. I will notice a girl gets better each time. My ATF (that is, all-time No.1) was like that. First time or two, rough going. Looks & personality kept her on my card. Fourth time, she blew me away.
My all-time No. 2 (vice-ATF?) was good from the get-go, but she let on later that it took 2 or 3 times for her really to get the hang of it, as it were; she was reading me and I didn't even know it.
Anybody else? Coaches? Slugs?
I sometimes coach or um direct a dancer for me to have a better lapping experience. After all I'm spending the 
& THEY ARE THERE TO PLEASE US!!! NOT the other way around & if they don't like it we could always go with someone else who are willing to listen to what type of dance we are into.
Most dancers are accepting to do things I asked for especially if they stay too long in one position(i get bored easily) I will asked them politely to switch or do this. I don't come across as a hard ass or give any attitude and the majority of dancers that have dance for me for the most part are willing to be coach & try out new things.
Now I don't always tell them what to do every single time I buy a dance, Especially if I'm already liking the dance in what movements they might be doing or even having them coach me to sit or lay down this way. You do have some that grind way too hard that I have to ease them down so I can get OFF, Or some who do an AIR-Dance and regardless how much you want them to sit on your lap won't listen. Now those are the type of dancers I stay away from if they are not willing to listen or give me a pleasurable experience.
If I am spending a lot of I like to try many positions and you do have some DUMB dancers who only know or do 2 positions(Front & back lap grind) that they are not creative or used their sexual Imagination. Now when it comes to FS, I don't coach as I know some these hoes get around & KNOW A LOT, but will discuss if this is possible before the dance and if they say NO, I don't take it personal as I know some have limits just like being coach in a lap dance, you can't force things they don't want to do.
That's the beauty of Strip clubs though we have so many here in L.A. and many dancers to choose from at various clubs. We never have to settle with bad seeds.
Peace Out!!!
qbg said:
Ronin's post about mileage -- enough mileage, not enough mileage -- made me think that he tries to let dancers know what kind of lap he likes. Whether that's true or not, it brings to mind a question: Do you coach your dances on their laps?
I'm curious, because I don't, unless the girl is doing something really uncomfortable. Typically, I let the girl do what she wants. I figure it's part of the audition. Like a test. More to the point, I don't want to pull the girl out of her comfort zone. That's usually a loser. Trying to turn a bouncy dancer into a sensual dancer tends not to work. If she felt good about being sensual, that's the way she'd be. If she doesn't, she just becomes a lousy sensual dancer.
Sometimes, a dancer is able to figure me out without coaching. Obviously, extra points for that kind of effort. I will notice a girl gets better each time. My ATF (that is, all-time No.1) was like that. First time or two, rough going. Looks & personality kept her on my card. Fourth time, she blew me away.
My all-time No. 2 (vice-ATF?) was good from the get-go, but she let on later that it took 2 or 3 times for her really to get the hang of it, as it were; she was reading me and I didn't even know it.
Anybody else? Coaches? Slugs?
I'm pretty much a slug. I let girls do what ever they want. I want stay within her her comfort zone. I find that may take a little more time, but that usually leads to more trust and better mileage.
Manual said:
@Willwad: Yes, I have had a question like that from a dancer. This was a few years back with a dancer that use to work at DVNH. She was "asking" to be coached. Our first coupla dances she would ask, "do you like it slow, medium, or fast?" The first time I said medium, but every time after that I said slow. She did the dances as requested. After a few dances, she didn't even have to ask.
Funny variation on this story that happened to me. A dancer asked me whether I liked the dances "hard or soft." My response, not knowing what she was implying, was to say "surprise me."
Well, the soft part was just fine, a slow sensual grind. The "hard" part consisted of her bouncing her ass up and down really hard on my lap. It was like getting punched in the nuts over and over.
As to the overall issue, I think asking "are you a boob man or ass man" is a good start for the dancer. But if not asked, I let the dancer do her thing. Then, I react to what she does, hoping she'll pick up the cues and change her dance to suit my reactions. Some do and some don't.
That is not to say that advising the dancer what you want is improper. After all, as LouASS noted, we are the customer and as the purchaser we have the right to ask for what we want.
LouASS said:
Also don't worry in making them uncomfortable as long as you are polite with your request you might be surprised more times than not you'll end up getting what you want out of your dance. !!!
Willywad said:
LouASS said:
Also don't worry in making them uncomfortable as long as you are polite with your request you might be surprised more times than not you'll end up getting what you want out of your dance. !!!
Thanks for the advice LouASS. Next time I get asked the question I'll be more forthcoming with my response and report back on my experience.
[LouASS]-->If it's not working well, You don't have to wait for the question just be forward in letting her know what exactly you want. Just remember most dancers are willing to please in trying to keep you in the lap booth much longer(more longer time means more
I know that this sounds selfish, But we are not there to please them, They are there to please US!!!! Just remember that, As most dancers already have boyfriends/Girlfriends they go home to, so they don't really give a flying Fuck about us, But if you are in it to have a good time just make sure you get your money's
Carmen said:
Some coaching is really helpful to us when we're giving you the dance...I try to take the subtle hints and feel it out...My average dance tends to be a little bit of everything....and throughout that I try to pay attention to what seemed to work and give more of that....it's different for every guy...every once in a while though someone will just come right out and say what they want....a guy not too long ago asked me to simply stand up and show him my ass...I would have never done that on my own as anyone else would have been bored and felt completely robbed... sometimes it's so much easier to be told what to do and then everyone is happy....
[LouASS]-->Carmen, You seem to be a very understanding dancer/Women in what a guy wants out of his dance & try to make everyone of us happy. I agree not all of us want the same exact thing.
We are all different people with some strange fetishes or want different things out of a dance as I have been told the same thing from another dancer as well. She told me every guy is different you just don't know what to expect.
She too just like you has told me a couple of guys have told her the same thing just to stand up and show her ASS in front of them and not move a muscle. Just like a statue. Now I wouldn't like this, but she did what was asked of her as she was there to please that guy at that time. I really prefer not to say her name, but she is one of my ATF's.
I have seen other guys when I walked in to vip rooms just pay just to chat with a girl(Yeah In a VIP room). No dances whatsover weird I know. Even once saw another dancer eating Pizza with a PL at a VIP bed at DVNH back in the day. I am not there to be a peepin' tom but have seen stuff like this while taking my dancer into the vip room.
YUP! So true...I have had people buy dances just to sit and talk...I always feel a little guilty doing that though...I feel like no matter how much they say that's all they want it can't be true...So I always dance at least some or ask multiple times are you sure you don't want me to dance...or if a song I really like comes on I'll request that they let me dance that song and see how they feel after that...if they get into it and stop talking I'm guessing they are enjoying the dance...If they start talking again I figure maybe they really do want to talk...I've had all kinds of fetishes...feet, shoes, pain, dominatrix, dirty talk, white panties...all kinds...as long as it isn't intruding on the rules or my boundaries (and to be honest most fetish dances are more respectful of rules and boundaries than any other) then I find it very interesting and different...as long as your enjoying it, I'm more than happy to slap you around, step on you with my heels on, put on a pair of white panties, or role play a little....Those dances are a break from the "daily grind" (lol I'm so punny hahahahaha!!!!) and usually super fun and easy....plus I love psychology so I always wonder just what is it about that certain thing that turns them on so much...anyways that's my 2 cents
), but then realized later on what was going on as they(dancers) were getting paid on the side without having to share this with the club. That is how the word FUCKOE came into play. It's not just about a customer hogging a dancers time by buying dances and not giving other guys a chance, but also by hog tying her just to chat for long periods of time. 
Stickyicky said:
The best dances come when the girl is genuily into you. But either the girl is into you or not. Can't "coach" her to be attracted to you.
I couldn't have said it better myself. I've gotten some hot dances from dancers that weren't into me, they were good but felt very robotic. Even when a dancer pretends to be into you, you can still tell she is a little distant, because they put up a front.
But the ones that genuinely like you, they don't put up a front, but are themselves. They might even enjoy themselves in a dance.
It takes a couple of visits for some girls to drop their front. But other girls always have it up, even if you've seen them many times.
Carmen said:
YUP! So true...I have had people buy dances just to sit and talk...I always feel a little guilty doing that though...I feel like no matter how much they say that's all they want it can't be true...So I always dance at least some or ask multiple times are you sure you don't want me to dance...or if a song I really like comes on I'll request that they let me dance that song and see how they feel after that...if they get into it and stop talking I'm guessing they are enjoying the dance...If they start talking again I figure maybe they really do want to talk...I've had all kinds of fetishes...feet, shoes, pain, dominatrix, dirty talk, white panties...all kinds...as long as it isn't intruding on the rules or my boundaries (and to be honest most fetish dances are more respectful of rules and boundaries than any other) then I find it very interesting and different...as long as your enjoying it, I'm more than happy to slap you around, step on you with my heels on, put on a pair of white panties, or role play a little....Those dances are a break from the "daily grind" (lol I'm so punny hahahahaha!!!!) and usually super fun and easy....plus I love psychology so I always wonder just what is it about that certain thing that turns them on so much...anyways that's my 2 cents
First this reminds me of what my psychology professor (who was a practicing psychiatrist as well) taught us. A good therapist is like a good friend. They listen to you vent and go on and while supportive allow you to find your own solutions. There is no book to intrepet meanings of dreams for instance. Dreams are personalized to each person and their life experience. I can't remember exactly the example but this one patient had described a dream where a train went through a tunnel, so the doctor believed it was about sex as is a common intrepretation. Turns out the patient used to go watch the trains pass where he lived as a small child so it was more of a longing for his childhood then anything sexual. Many people find someone like a dancer much easier to talk to because of the enviroment and a dancers life experience having common ground with their own. For instance almost every girlfriend i have ever had expressed at one time or another that they felt like they were two people trapped in the same body. The little princess and the whore seems to be quite common. The demonizing of sex by society instead of it being recognized as a natural physical & emotional urge neccessary for the continuation of the species. One reasons cathlic schoolgirls are so screwed up and so good in bed, they never really reconcile that their most primal urges are natural and everyone has them.
Every girl i have dated has told me that i allow both people inside her to become the one person she is instead of having to suppress one side of herself.
Dancers have to live through that reality every day. they move about in the real world as non strippers then go to a club and help guys fulfill their fantasies. Who better to understand that we are all complex individuals with a wide variety of needs. The dancers, like Carmen, who understand that and look at their job as more of an opportunity versus a punishment are the women who not only are successful dancers but are well balanced productive members of society.
Now there are some people, me included, who find it very relaxing to do something non sexual in a sexual situation and vice versa. I had an old girlfriend the first time we had sex we were watching some bad movie on tv. So we used to get turned on when certain things came on tv, we practically broke the headboard during a three stooges marathon. On the other hand i have had dances that literally went a couple hours where we talked about everything but sex. Now most of those times we did a slow ,sensual but very hard grind the whole time, sometimes the dancer even went and got her lunch and we ate it while we "danced". Now to someone walking by i am sure it looked like we were just talking as there was almost no movement at all. But trust me those dances were as sensual and sexy as any that KMSO
So some people enjoy dances that are not "dances" in the typical sense,
